Miso What??

Ok, don’t judge me about this statement, I have heard the word Misogynist but I honestly had no idea what it meant. I looked it up and I am horrified that they came up with a word for me in my early 20’s. I found this on the web site. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mysteries-love/201502/12-ways-spot-misogynist The following traits are typical of the misogynist: 1. He will zero in on a woman and choose her as his target. Her natural defenses may be down because he’s flirtatious, exciting, fun, and charismatic at first. 2. As time goes on, he begins to reveal a Jekyll & Hyde personality. He may change quickly from irresistible to rude, and from rude back to irresistible. 3. He will make promises to women and often fail to keep them. With men, on the other hand, he will almost always keep his word. 4. He will be late for appointments and dates with women, but be quite punctual with men. 5. His behavior toward women in general is grandiose, cocky, controlling, and self-centered. 6. He is extremely competitive, especially with women. If a woman does better than him socially or professionally, he feels terrible. If a man does better, he may have mixed feelings about it but he is able to look at the situation objectively. 7. He will unknowingly treat women differently from men in workplace and social settings, allowing men various liberties for which he will criticize female colleagues or friends. 8. He will be prepared (unconsciously) to use anything within his power to make women feel miserable. He may demand sex or withhold sex in his relationships, make jokes about women or put them down in public, “borrow” their ideas in professional contexts without giving them credit, or borrow money from them without paying them back. 9. On a date, he will treat a woman the opposite of how she prefers. If she is an old-style lady who prefers a "gentleman" who holds the door for her, orders for both and pays for the meal, he will treat her like one of his male buddies, order for himself, and let her pay for the whole meal if she offers (and sometimes even if she doesn’t). If she is a more independent type who prefers to order her own meal and pay for herself, he will rudely order for both and pay the check while she goes to the bathroom. 10. Sexually, he likes to control women and gives little or no attention to their sexual pleasure. Foreplay, if it occurs at all, is only a necessary means to an end. He likes oral sex but only as a recipient. His favorite positions enable him to avoid looking the woman in her eyes. 11. He will cheat on women he is dating or in a relationship with. Monogamy is the last thing he feels he owes a woman. 12. He may suddenly disappear from a relationship without ending it, but may come back three months later with an explanation designed to lure the woman back in. I would like to address each of these as a man. I find that this is all overly general and absolves the woman of any responsibility for her actions. 1. He will zero in on a woman and choose her as his target. Her natural defenses may be down because he’s flirtatious, exciting, fun, and charismatic at first. No kidding, you have just described the dating and trying to find people that are compatible. There is no difference in how women target the men that they are looking for. 2. As time goes on, he begins to reveal a Jekyll & Hyde personality. He may change quickly from irresistible to rude, and from rude back to irresistible. Wow, so men are not allowed to have moods? I think that this could apply to both Men and Women. This condition is not unique to men by any stretch of the imagination. I have witnesses this from women that I have dated. The difference is that I attributed it to she does not care about me so it is time to move on. 3. He will make promises to women and often fail to keep them. With men, on the other hand, he will almost always keep his word. Again this is not unique to men. You could reverse the pronouns and this statement would still ring true. Again I attribute this type of behavior to the individual and how they feel about me. I do not try to label the entire gender with a word that is hateful and overly general to reconcile me feeling bad that they did not think I was worth the time or effort to be courteous to. 4. He will be late for appointments and dates with women, but be quite punctual with men. Once again it is a common courtesy thing, If a man doesn’t care about you then you are not a priority. It does not mean that he hates women it means he just doesn’t like you. 5. His behavior toward women in general is grandiose, cocky, controlling, and self-centered. I would like to point out that all of these seem to demonstrate that the person does not think enough of you to be courteous to you. See reply to number 4. 6. He is extremely competitive, especially with women. If a woman does better than him socially or professionally, he feels terrible. If a man does better, he may have mixed feelings about it but he is able to look at the situation objectively. I have no response to this other than it seems over generalized. There is not enough detail in the narrative to determine if there might be another issue. 7. He will unknowingly treat women differently from men in workplace and social settings, allowing men various liberties for which he will criticize female colleagues or friends. I would relate to you that the only time that I felt different about a woman in the workplace was when I was on active duty in the Army. I spent a lot of time in the field, we had females in our unit as well. I would get a shower approximately every 7 to 8 days if I was lucky. The females in the same unit were able to get one every three days. I did not hate women I just did not like that they were treated differently than I was. We were all soldiers, but because I was male I was not as well take care of. 8. He will be prepared (unconsciously) to use anything within his power to make women feel miserable. He may demand sex or withhold sex in his relationships, make jokes about women or put them down in public, “borrow” their ideas in professional contexts without giving them credit, or borrow money from them without paying them back. I have seen just as many women do these things, it is not a Man problem it is a people problem. 9. On a date, he will treat a woman the opposite of how she prefers. If she is an old-style lady who prefers a "gentleman" who holds the door for her, orders for both and pays for the meal, he will treat her like one of his male buddies, order for himself, and let her pay for the whole meal if she offers (and sometimes even if she doesn’t). If she is a more independent type who prefers to order her own meal and pay for herself, he will rudely order for both and pay the check while she goes to the bathroom. Why does the woman get to choose? 10. Sexually, he likes to control women and gives little or no attention to their sexual pleasure. Foreplay, if it occurs at all, is only a necessary means to an end. He likes oral sex but only as a recipient. His favorite positions enable him to avoid looking the woman in her eyes. See answer to #4 and #5 11. He will cheat on women he is dating or in a relationship with. Monogamy is the last thing he feels he owes a woman. And see reply to #8 12. He may suddenly disappear from a relationship without ending it, but may come back three months later with an explanation designed to lure the woman back in. This is not unique to men. In reading these things I really believe that it is up to us as individuals to recognize that not every relationship that we have will turn out the way we hope it would be. Instead of having to make up a reason that there is someone wrong with the other person, make sure you are not trying to push your expectations of the relationship onto someone that does not have the same expectations. Be responsible for yourself. Now let us explore the equivalent from the other side, from the same web site. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rethinking-men/201010/why-some-people-have-issues-men-misandry I really have an issue with this explanation, the first think they do is blame men for the condition. The web site says that Misogyny generates Misandry. Funny it is cause and effect in this version but it was not acknowledged that Misandry causes Misogyny. The explanation goes on the lay out the reasons to hate men, Murders in North America, Men on the FBI most wanted list, Male CEO and Ponzi Scheme felons. Down the list is an acknowledgement that some of the Misandry is likely to be grounded in bitter personal experiences. All I can say is really? Do you really think so??? It is politically expedient as well as extremely PC to blame men for every wrong that has ever happened in the world. How many people remember the TV show “Home Improvement”? I admit I liked it at first, It started out as a celebration of the things that were categorically men. The show steadily shifted from a family that moved through life to making men look like bumbling fools that could barely get out of their own way. At the same time all of the women on the show got educated and kept the men from swallowing their own tongue from stupidity. I couldn’t watch it. The Show “Friends” was the same. It started out as intelligent men and women working their way through their 20s. The women on the show made bad decisions and had serious personaltiy problems, just like the men. Two of the tree regular men were educated and professional. One of the women was a professional, by the end when the show finally ended all of the men we stupid and it was all the women could do to keep them from setting each other on fire. I can’t figure out what has happened to the world. How do we not realize that F-Troop was not real I am an educated normal man. In my life I have demonstrated at one time or another all of the indicators shown by Psychology Today that show I am a Misogynist. I do not hate women. I can’t pick a time when I have ever hated women. I can’t in my life remember any point in time when I hated even one woman. I may have disliked a woman but that is based on experience with that one woman. I may have not been as caring for individuals as I should have, I may have gone along with what a girl wanted in order to get with her. I may have disliked a woman but that is based on experience with that one woman. I dated women and then decided that It was going nowhere and then played her until she finally left. That was not because I hated her, it was because I was lazy. I guess If I had a woman tell me I am a Misogynist, based on the definition from “Experts” I would have to agree…..