It has been more than a year since my last post. It is hard to believe that time has moved as fast as it has. I did not get the new job that I was trying for the last time I posted. I kept motoring on though. I had finished my masters degree and I felt like things were about to change for me. I was right it took a little while but I have had some major change at work. I have had two new positions since I last talked. I am much more at ease in the position I am in now. I have goals again and I hope to be able to move up in my position. Through it all nothing really changes though. It is the same old thing. I work hard to provide so I can go home and live my life. I do not trust the people that I work with and do not think I will ever be able to again. I am so paranoid, I listen to every conversation because i think that things will happen the way they did before. I know that I should not be but I hear them plotting and planning the fall of others. it is never far from my mind, There but for the grace of God go I. I think you know what I mean. I have talked to my wife about my feelings, she says that I cannot live my life in fear, I hope that isn't what I am doing, I do not ever want to go through that again. I am telling myself that a good dose of fear of loss is good for you occasionally. I need therapy!!! I understand the limitations of my abilities and hope to be able to expand them. I do not care what others think of me because in reality they matter very little. I matter very little to them as well.

My life is my family, for a very long time I had lost track of that. It took some very humbling experiences for me professionally to realize that they are all that I really need in my life. I will never forget it again!

Take it easy until next time.
Anti-Hero-Me

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Actual Political Alignments

Image
At one point I was trying to understand how we progress to the absolute extremes of politics. I had never really given it any though before so some of this research was enlightening to me. First let me define what I consider the extreme ends of politics. I believe that the polar opposites that we must recognize are on one end Anarchy . The polar opposite of Anarchy is Totalitarianism. One is the absence of government intervention and the other is the government intervention in every aspect of life. The reason I wanted to do this research is that I wanted to make sure I understood the effects of the movement of political power in the US. It is important to first define the terms we will be using. Per Merriam Webster, where there did not seem to fill in enough information about the term other sources were used. Anarchist - a person who believes that government and laws are not necessary. Communism - a way of organizing a society in which the government owns the things that are u...
Read more

After the Zombies

My sons are obsessed with the zombie apocalypse. I understand that the Zombie Apocalypse is more of a metaphor of the idea of all of the trappings of modern civilization failing and having to survive in a world where everything that we have become accustomed to is gone. No more grocery stores, no electricity, having to hunt and gather your own food. It is assumed that there would soon be fewer people to compete with for the vastly reduced available resources. I remember on my last trip that I had to take for work my youngest son asked me if the zombies come while I am away what should they do. I had no answer for that, as a matter of fact I was kind of at a loss. If everything fell apart and I was unable to get home as easily as I once was what would I do? That opened a lot of questions as to how I would get back to SLC from Washington DC If I could not fly or drive. I guess I would look for a bicycle. I would avoid as many heavily populated areas as possible. Getting to Salt Lake Cit...
Read more

The Giant Orange Head

I have heard a few jokes in my time with the Government that have been directed very poignantly at some of the problems that the supervisors and management deal with on a daily basis. One of my favorites is “The Giant Orange Head” A man goes to work on Monday morning and walks by his friend’s office. He looks in at his friend and is startled to see his friend with a head that looks like a 3 foot giant orange with a face on it. He franticly asks his friend what in the world happened. His friend replied, “Its kind of an interesting story. I was walking along the beach Saturday morning and saw a bottle lying in the sand. I picked up the bottle and rubbed some of the sand off of it an out popped a genie”. The genie said “Thank you for releasing me from that bottle, for your kindness I will grant you three wishes.” I said “Sweet, My first wish is to be rich, I don’t ever want to have to work again”, “done” said the genie. The genie then asked what I want for my second wish. I thought ab...
Read more